12/19/06 - Blah and some thoughts
Today is not a good day. Unfortunately morning sickness is lasting most of the day for me right now. It has been waking me up from sleep which makes me more tired and makes me feel more sick during the day. I wish I could say a nap helps it but it doesn't. Nothing helps it at this point. I just wish I could throw up because I know I would feel better. Though I wouldn't choose to actually vomit, I think it would release some of the sickness feeling enough for me to actually feel normal for a few minutes.
On that note, I don't know how much I'm going to be able to enjoy all the yummy Christmas meals this coming weekend. Most of the time there is only one thing that sounds good to me. That changes daily too. Sigh. I guess I can't win. At least I know that things are moving right along in there.
I definitely feel more sick this pregnancy than with pregnancy #1. Lovely. Perhaps a little girl has taken up residence in my uterus and is wreaking all havoc on my body. Well at least we know it's one or the other, hehehe.
In this post I also wanted to clear up some misperceptions that I think people have about what I had before (PPCM). While the majority of people don't know a great amount of information about peripartum/postpartum cardiomyopathy, there is research being done that is helping that information to grow. I guess I am choosing to look at PPCM as something that isn't as "life-threatening" and "terminal" as something like cancer. Perhaps I feel this way because I recovered? Or perhaps I feel this way because I'm choosing to look at it as something that I CAN overcome? Or perhaps I'm looking at it this way because I know that in my plan of life this is what was meant to happen for alot of reasons? Whatever it is, I think that there needs to be some clarification on how I feel about PPCM. Though not everyone that develops and walks the PPCM road recovers, I think there is a strong mind-body connection in the healing process.
I have to give all the glory to God first and foremost for healing me because I don't think it could have been done without him. Second, though, I want to say something about the mind-body connection and healing yourself from within. I feel strongly that in my health, my initial "goal" in getting better, in pushing myself to exercise and do other things, in really putting forth the effort to take an active role in my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health, is what drove my body's inner desire to heal. I think that alot of times in my own life there are things that happen that I allow to get in the way of growth in my personal life. I think that I'm learning that hardship, challenges, and trials, though they aren't fun to walk through, are given to us for a reason...the grow us up, to teach us about the person we should become, to give us a new lease on life to live each day like it was our last...to LIVE, not simply exist.
I honestly feel that alot of my healing in all aspects was because of the approach I tried to take in the mind-body connection of my health. I was determined...would NOT give up or give in to this "disease"...set my mind to the task at hand that I WILL get better and I WILL survive and live my life.
You know it seems that there are those around me that are concerned about my pregnancy and health. Thanks for being concerned...I appreciate it...but please don't bring me down because I feel strongly that the mind-body connection that God has gently been pushing deeper and deeper into my heart and mind is going to be what drives me through this pregnancy, full force ahead, no regrets. If I've accepted that fact, then I feel that others around me also should. Yes, perhaps you are worried and that's fine...I'll leave the worrying up to you because for now I am content to be positive and use the power of positive thinking to benefit my health and well being.
Okay. I'll step off my soap box for now. I just needed to get that out because I've been feeling a little annoyed by the lack of trust and faith in God that certain people around me are showing. All it takes is faith the size of a mustard seed and you can move a mountain...so step out in faith...DO IT and don't look back! This the life I'm living and if you don't agree with it, I'm sorry...but just remember that we are all given what we're given for a reason and perhaps this is what I've been given for reasons that you may not understand. That doesn't make it wrong that we've chosen this road...it just makes it a different decision than what others might have chosen. Honestly, my DH and I have talked and prayed about this subject for a very long time and this decision was NOT made on a whim.
I strongly feel that this is going to be one of the biggest blessings in my spiritual and emotional journey...I really feel that this pregnancy is going to finish the healing process that God has been taking me through for a very long time now.
Whoa. I don't know if that was pregnancy hormones or suppressed emotions but there you have it. hehe
On that note, I don't know how much I'm going to be able to enjoy all the yummy Christmas meals this coming weekend. Most of the time there is only one thing that sounds good to me. That changes daily too. Sigh. I guess I can't win. At least I know that things are moving right along in there.
I definitely feel more sick this pregnancy than with pregnancy #1. Lovely. Perhaps a little girl has taken up residence in my uterus and is wreaking all havoc on my body. Well at least we know it's one or the other, hehehe.
In this post I also wanted to clear up some misperceptions that I think people have about what I had before (PPCM). While the majority of people don't know a great amount of information about peripartum/postpartum cardiomyopathy, there is research being done that is helping that information to grow. I guess I am choosing to look at PPCM as something that isn't as "life-threatening" and "terminal" as something like cancer. Perhaps I feel this way because I recovered? Or perhaps I feel this way because I'm choosing to look at it as something that I CAN overcome? Or perhaps I'm looking at it this way because I know that in my plan of life this is what was meant to happen for alot of reasons? Whatever it is, I think that there needs to be some clarification on how I feel about PPCM. Though not everyone that develops and walks the PPCM road recovers, I think there is a strong mind-body connection in the healing process.
I have to give all the glory to God first and foremost for healing me because I don't think it could have been done without him. Second, though, I want to say something about the mind-body connection and healing yourself from within. I feel strongly that in my health, my initial "goal" in getting better, in pushing myself to exercise and do other things, in really putting forth the effort to take an active role in my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health, is what drove my body's inner desire to heal. I think that alot of times in my own life there are things that happen that I allow to get in the way of growth in my personal life. I think that I'm learning that hardship, challenges, and trials, though they aren't fun to walk through, are given to us for a reason...the grow us up, to teach us about the person we should become, to give us a new lease on life to live each day like it was our last...to LIVE, not simply exist.
I honestly feel that alot of my healing in all aspects was because of the approach I tried to take in the mind-body connection of my health. I was determined...would NOT give up or give in to this "disease"...set my mind to the task at hand that I WILL get better and I WILL survive and live my life.
You know it seems that there are those around me that are concerned about my pregnancy and health. Thanks for being concerned...I appreciate it...but please don't bring me down because I feel strongly that the mind-body connection that God has gently been pushing deeper and deeper into my heart and mind is going to be what drives me through this pregnancy, full force ahead, no regrets. If I've accepted that fact, then I feel that others around me also should. Yes, perhaps you are worried and that's fine...I'll leave the worrying up to you because for now I am content to be positive and use the power of positive thinking to benefit my health and well being.
Okay. I'll step off my soap box for now. I just needed to get that out because I've been feeling a little annoyed by the lack of trust and faith in God that certain people around me are showing. All it takes is faith the size of a mustard seed and you can move a mountain...so step out in faith...DO IT and don't look back! This the life I'm living and if you don't agree with it, I'm sorry...but just remember that we are all given what we're given for a reason and perhaps this is what I've been given for reasons that you may not understand. That doesn't make it wrong that we've chosen this road...it just makes it a different decision than what others might have chosen. Honestly, my DH and I have talked and prayed about this subject for a very long time and this decision was NOT made on a whim.
I strongly feel that this is going to be one of the biggest blessings in my spiritual and emotional journey...I really feel that this pregnancy is going to finish the healing process that God has been taking me through for a very long time now.
Whoa. I don't know if that was pregnancy hormones or suppressed emotions but there you have it. hehe
<< Home